Lost in translation

This grief thing is, well, hard to describe. If this post doesn't not make much sense, well... well, oh well.

Dylan and Peter taking a break from finishing off Leroy's seat. 
Leroy's tree is in the foreground, growing fabulously.

I still feel like my brain is operating at about 60% of its former capacity. And I've noticed that grief isn't really talked about much in society. I am starting to see why that may be. I don't talk about it. Not much really. It's always here, in me, swimming and surfacing at random times, but for a number of reasons I just don't want to talk about it, or don't have the words to talk about it, or am unwilling to share such a deep, personal and private, soul bearing thing.  So maybe part that's of the reason why it's not spoken about much, it's just too painful.

As well as that, I am so bloody sensitive! I thought I was ultra sensitive before, but I have definitely gone up in the 'sensitive to everything' stakes. Brain is working overtime, and it's not helpful.  I know from experience that I am just not that good a friend at the moment - haven't been for the last year really.  Not a beating myself up kind of comment, just the reality. I am doing the best I can, I just don't have the capacity for much else other than what I am doing - except in bursts. 

Six of our 8 new vegie garden beds - we finished
filling them with mushroom compost yesterday

One thing that is doing very good things to my soul (and to Peter's) is getting stuck into our garden. We were blown away with how much we got done at our Plant-a-thon weekend on 20-21 April. We cannot thank Heather (unbelievably fabulous friend and project manager) and Simon (landscape gardener extraordinaire and very generous person) for making it all happen.

It has been a long term dream of ours to get a plan for our property in terms of planting/garden/food growing/wind break etc, and it is very exciting to finally have one. It's quite another thing to get a chunk of work done. Our wonderful plants that we were given to us for Leroy's Garden (which we had been re-potting and watering for over 6 months) are now in the ground in the "Friendship Garden". It is such a relief.

It never ceases to amaze me, just how generous our friends are, and how much can get done with a few extra hands (and love, enthusiasm and loads of energy).  Thank you all so much, it really is an incredible gift to us.

The vegie garden is taking off, and is such a great place to be. Today was a spectacular blue sky day, and Dylan, Peter and I hung out and worked in the garden all morning and afternoon. It was just what I needed. I think of Leroy a lot when I am there, he is part of all this work and everything that is growing. We feel so so lucky to have this in place now, and it feels even more of a family hub than it was before, all in honour and in memory of our beautiful Leroy.