How it all started

I had thought that I was going to have my baby early - and that I was having a girl - I was wrong on both counts!

It was the day before my due date, and I had an appointment with my midwife. When she came out to visit me, I was telling her how hot I felt. She gave me a knowing look and I had a feeling it wouldn't be long until I would be having our second baby.

I realise that for some people having a home birth is controversial, but for us it was the natural choice. 

Soon after 8pm that night,  I thought something was happening. Fairly soon after I felt the familiar sensations of early labour, and told Peter to get ready.  The only way I could get comfortable was to hang from Peter's neck, my arms around him, and we called our primary midwife a few hours later.

Things progressed very well, and our baby's heart beat a regular intervals - everything was going fabulously.  A few hours later I wanted to get into our birth pool. It was a great relief and I found many positions that felt comfortable. We then called my other midwife (and sister) Katrina, and Di our friend and birth attendant, and they arrived around 4am.

It was an incredible feeling when the 'pushing' feeling started. All I had to do was wait, and go with the body sensations. My body knew exactly what to do, and I let it come. Just when I started wondering if this would ever stop, my sister said, "I can see a head", and I was so relieved!

I birthed Leroy's head very slowly, avoiding any tears, and I was very much looking forward to meeting our new baby. Rather than the rest of Leroy's body slipping out of me, he got stuck at the shoulders. This is known as Shoulder Dystocia. I had never even heard of it before, it is quite common - 1 in 1000 births. It need not be a problem, but for us it was, as it was coupled with Leroy's umbilical cord being around his neck/shoulder at the spot where he was stuck on my pubic bone. The birthing team were amazing and worked with me (very calmly I might add) to get Leroy out as quickly as possible, and after around 5 minutes, at 6.07am on his due date 21st March, beautiful Leroy was born, and was placed on my chest, floppy and not breathing.

It really is the most rotten bad luck ever. Simple as that. We can't be 100% sure of what exactly happened, but all the indications are that Leroy suffered a lack of oxygen when he got stuck, and although his heart was still beating, his brain was severely damaged.

Our team started resuscitation straight away, and we called an ambulance. Even at this stage I had no idea of what was in store, I naively thought that Leroy would be helped to breath on his own at the hospital and we would take him home a few days later. I could not have been more wrong.